Wedding Planning vs. Marriage Planning

This post was inspired by a similar post by Miss Clownfish a la Weddingbee—

Like she said, people will ask you how wedding planning is going ALL the TIME. At every family event people want to know if you set a date, picked a venue, if you know what you’re wearing and so on. I understand that I’ve been engaged for 7 months but no we don’t have an exact date yet. Yes, we have a venue in mind, yes we have wedding colors, I think I found “the dress”. Please relax, we still have 11 months to go. I wholeheartedly agree on her next point however, that no one asks how your marriage planning is going. Maybe they don’t care and just want to hear party details or maybe they don’t know how to ask.


A few years ago before Theo and I were ever engaged we drove up to see his brother and their family in New York. The drive was about 8 hours one way so we were about to spend a long period of time in the car, just us and the dog. I prepared for this journey by reading a list of questions to ask before you get married. You can see the full list here.

I chose some of my favorites and typed them all into a list on my phone and at one point during the trip we went through a bunch of them. Some were serious, like when we discussed how we would seriously consider adoption if we found out we could not have children of our own.  We thought about what ways we wanted to parent the same and differently from our own parents. We had a funny conversation about what our favorite Halloween costume of all time was and you can see pictures of his in this post.

We talked a lot about the future and the past and it definitely made us better for it in the present. We learned a lot about each other but also realized we had very similar values and ideals when it came to the truly important life decisions. Every so often we have  another version of one of these conversations when an article or video inspires us to think how we might handle a similar situation. Often we say how we won’t have badly behaved children, I believe that is one thing we will stick to!

I just want to remind you all that wedding planning IS about the journey and the destination. Planning your wedding is practice in being married from handling family and finances to managing stress and sharing responsibilities. When the party is over and you’re home from your honeymoon, all that’s left are you and your spouse. Make sure you are prepared for that transition from bride-to-be to wife by asking those serious questions.


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