Patience Is NOT a Virtue [when it comes to booking vendors]

One of my bridesmaids is marathoning it this year. What I mean by that is she is a bridesmaid in FOUR weddings between May and October. Two of these weddings she is the Matron of Honor for. I give her mad props. Not to name any names but she said one of the brides-to-be was having a hard time committing to some vendors. I can understand this because even though we are a little over 3 months out from the wedding, we still do not have an officiant. As in the person TO MARRY US. The whole reason for this gigantic party. To her, myself and everyone else in our shoes, below is the advice I wish I had listened to.

It might be hard, but if you want someone, commit to them. You did it with your fiance, and you can do it with vendors too. If you don’t you might lose the “perfect” vendor you found and spent months looking for. If you do lose them, you might need to start your research over and possibly spend more money to find someone as good who is still available. (Like me! Oops!)

However, committing to a vendor often means putting down a deposit. This was the exact dilemma I had when I was trying to decide if we should invest in a highly regarded and well-reviewed wedding officiant.

We had read about her and she seemed to be everything we were looking for: someone experienced in writing customized wedding ceremonies, was located in the area we were getting married (avoiding additional travel fees) and sent prompt and well thought out email replies. But as you’ve probably realized in your vendor search—experience and awesome service comes with a hefty fee.

We had originally budgeted for a friend to officiate our wedding so the budget was minimal, just enough to buy her a nice Thank You gift. Even when doing research on what an officiant should cost percentage-wise to our budget, this awesome officiant was more than double.


Did we just need someone to marry us? Or are we willing to pay for someone [with experience] to save me loads of time (and possibly frustration) writing our custom wedding ceremony?

Once we got into “crunch time” AKA the final four months before the wedding, I reminded Theo we still needed an officiant and asked if he wanted me to set up an in-person interview or Skype interview to get to know her better. He was the under the impression I had already hired her. He asked why I hadn’t hired her yet and had forgotten what I told him at first…about her fees.

The next morning he texted me and told me to book her. I agreed this was the right move. I emailed her moments later and told her if she or any of her associates were still available we wanted to book them ASAP. She got back to me within a few hours telling me she had a rehearsal on the day of our wedding and was going to see if that couple would be willing to move it OR if either of her associates were available. The following day she let me know the bad news that she nor either of her associates could officiate our wedding.


I asked some of our other vendors for recommendations and funny enough, our photographers recommended the woman who was our first choice. I had to let them know she WAS out first choice but isn’t available.

So I was off to search for another unbelievably talented custom-ceremony-writing officiant. I found one (I think!) and we have a face-to-face interview with her in a few weeks. I’ll keep you updated on how it goes and if we hire her!






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